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Why
did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it
should be).
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Jabba (Star Wars):
- Bo shuda chicken!
- I have little use for chickens who drop their eggs at first sign of a cross-walk.
Jack:
- It was a goose and it crossed to lay a golden egg.
Janet Jackson:
- The chicken saw a black cat and wasn't afraid to die on the road.
Michael Jackson:
The Jacksons:
- Don't blame it on the sunshine,
Don't blame it on the moonlight;
Blame it on the boogie.
Henry James:
He had been a natural leader, the King of the coop, until that fateful
day when he tried to cross the road. He was thrown fifty feet by a speeding car driven by
a thoughtless youth celebrating his twenty-first birthday. And now he returns every year
on the anniversary of that fateful event. That was not a chicken you saw. That was an
apparition, ... a poultrygeist.
Janeway (Star Trek):
- Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant... and it probably
misses its dog.
Japanese saying:
- Hated chickens fear not the road.
Jareth:
- Sarah, go back to your room. Play with your toys and your costumes. Forget about the
chicken.
Marcy Jefferson:
- Why do you keep calling me a chicken?
Thomas Jefferson:
- When in the Course of chicken events, it becomes necessary for one people of chicken to
cross the road which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of
the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God
entitle them, a decent respect to the opinion of chickenkind requires that they should
declare the cause which impel them to the crossing.
- In the course of avian events, all chickens are created equal, and have the inalienable
right of freedom to travel as they desire.
- For life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
- All hens are endowed by Nature and Nature's God with the right to life, liberty and the
pursuit of the other side.
Dr. Jekyll:
- She hadn't been feeling herself lately.
Jerjerrod (Star Wars):
- The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.
Jesus:
- Forgive it Father, for it does not know what it does.
- The farmer misunderstood. I said, "Turn the other cheek, not turn the other
chick."
Jewish Chicken:
- Vaat? The pig crosses the road and no one notices. But I cross the road and now it's a
Federal case already?!
Job:
- Now where's the damn gizzards?
Elton John:
- The chicken's candle burned out long before the legend of the crossing ever did.
Arte Johnson:
Lyndon Baines Johnson:
- "Ah have known many chickens in mah time. Some as friends, some as opponents, still
others as dinner. Many chickens in our great society have tried to cross the road. Some
have been successful. Others have been struck down by beer trucks in the prime of
pullethood. Therefore I, as your president, ask the American people to rededicate
themselves tonight to the struggles of chickens everywhere. They have begun their humble
journeys across the road. Let them continyah."
Magic Johnson:
Dr. Samuel Johnson:
- Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire,
but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and
incorrigible Ignorance.
Al Jolson:
- For Mammy. You aint seen nuthing yet.
Indiana Jones:
- Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.
John Paul Jones:
- It has not yet begun to cross!
Paula Jones:
- I don't know but I can describe distinguishing characteristics on its pecker.
James Joyce:
- Once upon a time, a nice little chicken named baby tuckoo crossed the road and met a
moocow coming down.
- To forge in the smithy of its soul the uncreated conscience of its race.
- Mrs. Hahn, Cock's wife, flapflopped from an ova eggspressed (one l'ouvre, end sot) and
charged that lewd brigade into any tennis sun in this faunanimal whirled.
- So there'll be iggs for the brekkers come to mournhim, sunny side up with care.
Judah ha-Levi:
- My road is the East, but my chicken is in the farthest West.
Carl Jung:
- The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens
cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such
occurrences into being.
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Please send your Chickenology Encyclopedia entries to:
ervin@unforgettable.com
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